Love Island 2019: The obvious choices bite the dust as Lucie opts to stay in the villa without Joe

Wow, tonight was a slo-mo overload, between the challenge and the arrival of Caroline Flack. Indeed “The Flack” was back after two whole weeks – if you didn’t know about Love Island: Aftersun you’d think she was a right lazy so ‘n so.

First, to the challenge! T’was that time of the series where Islanders get to regurgitate into each other’s gobs in the name of sport. Producers may refer to it as “A Raunchy Restaurant” but, in reality, it’s a total heave fest.

In particular, Molly-Mae did not reflect fondly on the task. Perched beside Tommy in the Beach Hut, she said “It was like I was a little bird and he was the mummy bird. He was just spitting on my face. There was no technique whatsoever.” Said the influencer to the boxer.

Two people more than capable of whipping up something fancy was Maura and Tom, who had some kind of slurping symbiosis on the go. Even Yewande picked up on their prowess, saying “it’s scary how well Maura and Tom did when you consider they’ve only known each other for two days!” Listen, we don’t know the inner workings of the production, maybe Maura and Tom have known each other for years, who knows? (Disclaimer: the previous line is clearly complete speculation).

Speaking of Yewande, she’s starting to smell a rat. The girl’s got instincts and she’s sensing a lack of energy when it comes to her man Danny. After airing concerns such as them “not moving as quickly as other couples” to Anna, the scientist asked her partner if someone new came in, would he get to know them. He responded: “In a polite way, not a head-turning way.” Yewande remained unconvinced.


Maura may not be there “for shapes” but she was sure throwing a few tonight (apologies). Nonetheless, she’s in another triangle, all thanks to Tom’s attraction to both her and Elma. After a frightfully polite conversation regarding not treading on Maura’s toes, while having “YAH, GERL COHDE” trilled at her, Elma felt a bit hard done by, and so revisited the conversation with “friend” Maura the following day. This time, the usually mild-mannered Essex eyelash wizard came in with both guns blazing, declaring “You were saying that you wouldn’t have done this to me but you literally did that to Molly.” Just think, Maura could be the one having Tommy spittling half gnawed food all over her face.

As for whether Maura and Elma got over themselves is a moot point considering the latter got sent home tonight. Indeed, the long-suffering Anton has survived to be single for yet another day! As for who the public chose over Joe and Lucie? Well, the answer to that was obvious, innit.


• Anton is becoming (through force) more and more humble as the time goes on and, frankly, it’s a beautiful thing.

• Twitter was all over Amy’s RBF when it was announced the public wanted Lucie to stay

• Danny is remarkably astute… or he’s just saying what he thinks Yewande wants to hear. HE BETTER NOT BE FULL OF S**T

• Producers of the show’s First Look compilation for Twitter need to reconsider using captions such as “Caroline arrives for a shock dumping!” It creates all manner of unforgiving visuals.


Keeping with the Flack… It’s a fair point


Lucie bawling more than usual because she’s close to walking since Joe’s departure. Seriously, producers need to have a word with Lucie, because if she leaves for Joe, we’re all just going to worry about her for the foreseeable.

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