‘I’m A Celeb castle ghost more famous than the cast’ says Ryan-Mark Parsons

The Apprentice 's Ryan-Mark Parsons is back on Daily Star Online with his exclusive column, sharing his thoughts on the biggest things in showbiz and television.

Now that the line-up for I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! has been confirmed, he's had his say – and it seems he's really not that impressed.

Meanwhile, he got a shock this week when Naked Attraction viewers filled his Twitter notifications after seeing an apparent lookalike stripping on the show.

And with the Wagatha Christie saga potentially coming to an end soon, Ryan-Mark has given his thoughts on the celebrity feud that has had everyone gripped since that first infamous statement.

I’m A Z-list Celeb, Get Me Some Attention!

My favourite show (after The Apprentice, of course), is making a return this weekend — with a twist.

This year’s I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! will broadcast from Wales, based in Gwrych Castle.

A massive change from the jungle campsite in Australia, the biggest being the temperature, dropping as low as some of the contestants’ notability.

I’m bored with broadcasters and other writers giving you sanitised thoughts of the campmates.

Welcome to unfiltered Ryan-Mark honesty, and I will exclusively reveal my verdict of these Z-listers.

Let’s begin, from best to worst.

1. Shane Richie: I remember him from Eastenders, not a terrible actor. I know he does a bit of live acting, including pantomime. Based on his interviews, he comes across the most decent and humble campmate who’s not looking for a glittering TV career after this. I’m sure all of his fellow campmates will love him, including the public. He will quickly become the father figure and my favourite to win the show.

2. Vernon Kay: The presenter is one of the biggest signings this year, best known for Family Fortunes. I like him; seems genuine and got very emotional after speaking about his children’s expectations of their father. I’m sure he’ll be one of the finalists this year — providing he isn’t too boring.

  • I'm A Celeb's Shane Richie wants EastEnders return after admitting he's 'skint'

3. Beverley Callard: She’s fabulous, doubt she’ll last long, might be exempt from a few tasks due to her old age. That annoys the public. However, she’s a real lass and great personality, much like her on-screen persona in Coronation Street. I find most soap stars do well in this programme, just generally likeable people without an ego.

4. Sir Mo Farah: The famous Olympian who hasn’t stopped going on about being the ‘only person to beat The Cube’. It’s a great casting for ITV bosses, his fee is reported to be in the region of £300,000 – can’t imagine it was hard to persuade him with those numbers. However, I fear he will be utterly dull. He’s got a professional reputation to uphold in sport, brand deals etc, that will bear on his judgement, and therefore won’t let loose as much as the others. For me, this is a PR signing by ITV and it’s got all the papers talking. Might make the semi-finals, considering he’s the most famous out of this lot.

  • Lisa Snowdon says she felt 'pressured' over scantily-clad I'm A Celeb showers

5. Victoria Derbyshire: A great journalist and someone who’s achieved a lot professionally. She’ll get along with everyone, might be slightly bossy and grouchy as she progresses. The public won’t waste a vote on her for tasks, she’ll be someone who plods along and will be helpful around the camp. Just an accessory, truthfully. Nevertheless, she’s a bold personality and I hope she might be stubborn and cause some drama, which we all secretly crave.

6. Giovanna Fletcher: Ugh! Don’t get me started. An author and podcaster, famous for marrying someone from a boyband. She’s one of those mothers I encountered at my private school. The kind who brags about how their darling child, Samuel, is making great progress in piano lessons. Constantly reminding everyone about her healthy eating at home, where only celery smoothies are allowed in their packed lunches and everything is gluten-free. The Commander-in-Chief of Mumsnet. Self-righteous, will love to take charge and make it clear how philanthropic she is around the campsite. ‘Look at me cleaning the dishes’, ‘Oh watch me make the most delightful meal from kangaroo meat’. Think Nigella, but worse.

  • I'm A Celeb bosses 'consider alternating between Wales and Australia' in future

7. Jessica Plummer: Bland, bland and blander. A former actress on Eastenders, she’ll want to make everyone happy and the public will tire of her quickly. Apparently, her dream campsite role will be ‘chatterbox’ and ‘little sister’; known as annoying and lacking substance. She might make the semi-finals, sometimes the public warm to these drab characters that add zero value to the show. Probably won’t even notice her.

8. Jordan North: BBC Radio 1 DJ, apparently (never heard of him). He’s one of those irritating characters that try too hard to be funny. They assume everything they say is hysterical and expect those around them to validate their ego with incessant laughter. I’d shut him up if I were in the camp with him. His interview was joke after joke, at one point I skipped his answers because it was turning into a poor stand-up attempt. Viewers won’t keep him in for long. Won’t cause any drama. Just expect mediocre comedy. Yawn!

  • I'm A Celebrity's Joey Essex and Vicky Pattison to return for latest series

9. AJ Pritchard: Brand Pritchard. It’s so painfully obvious why he’s taking part in the show. Curtis (the less attractive one from Love Island ) and now AJ, are taking on the reality world. AJ got fed up of dancing on BBC’s Strictly and now wants to be a television presenter with his brother. Ant and Dec better keep their eyes peeled, looks like the most cringeworthy brothers in the existence of reality TV might be looking for their jobs in the next series. Viewers can only look forward to shower scenes, in that regard he will bring the most value.

10. Hollie Arnold MBE: Who?

Naked Attraction Lookalike

  • Naked Attraction viewers heartbroken after 23-year-old virgin dumped by date

The country’s most humiliating show is back on everyone’s screens, small and large, and that goes for some of the contestants too.

In this week’s episode, contestant Brian Rodriguez stripped down and ran away from a flurry of vaginas he was faced with.

Naturally, social media users had a field day, with many finding the whole encounter hilarious.

What inspires people to go on this programme?

Number one, completely degrading. Number two, there’s so much more than just appearance when finding love, and this format encourages contestants to take one look at someone and decide their fate.

  • Naked Attraction virgin walks off show after seeing real-life nude women for first time

It’s wrong for many reasons.

I was hugely surprised to receive hundreds of notifications on Twitter, after users compared me to Brian, calling him a lookalike.

I cannot see the resemblance and was very insulted.

I daren’t watch on to find any further so-called ‘resemblance’, and I’m sure other viewers enjoyed seeing Brian in all his naked desperation.

Won’t be long until some of this year’s I’m A Celeb contestants have run out of money again, and look to take part in a celeb series of Naked Attraction… I nominate AJ Pritchard.

Battle of the WAGs…

  • Rebekah Vardy wows DOI fans as she flashes cleavage in plunging dress for racy snap

It’s like a great Manchester United and City derby, two football legends from the north, up against each other to fight for the Cup.

However, this isn’t a game of football, think more fake tan, tacky 20-carat diamond rings and Louis Vuitton Neverfulls.

It’s the battle of the WAGs!

Coleen Rooney vs Rebekah Vardy, an explosive showdown that may see the pair appear in London’s High Court next week.

  • Coleen Rooney hauls cringey Peter Andre sex claims into Rebekah Vardy court case

Wayne Rooney’s wife Coleen, has been subject to libel proceedings by Jamie Vardy’s wife Rebekah.

The pair have been at each other for a year and we may see a resolution very soon.

It started in October 2019, when Coleen used her Instagram account to trap what she claimed was the source of the stories and discovered Rebekah's Instagram was allegedly being used to leak stories about Coleen to the press.

Coleen triumphantly bragged about her detective work in an online statement, infamously saying it was ‘Rebekah Vardy’s account’, which later turned into an internet meme.

  • Rebekah Vardy and Coleen Rooney 'set to come face-to-face in court within weeks'

Rebekah has vehemently denied those claims that arose during her pregnancy, causing great upset.

This was apparent during several television appearances to discuss the allegation raised by Coleen, where Rebekah broke down.

Attempts to settle outside of court have failed.

What a pathetic drama.

Perhaps Coleen shouldn’t share anything on Instagram that could be used by the papers for a story.

Or, even better, block Rebekah and leave it there.

To make such a melodramatic announcement is unnecessary and fiercely immature.

I can understand why Rebekah has decided to sue, but surely there are better ways of coming to a resolution, especially when both parties are grown women with children.

What an example!

Nevertheless, it’s riveting and I can’t wait to hear the judgement.

Let’s hope the WAGs will reunite in an equally extravagant online stunt, and perhaps a retraction, ‘It wasn’t Rebekah Vardy’s account’?

The case continues.

  • Coleen Rooney
  • Rebekah Vardy
  • The Apprentice
  • Im A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here
  • Naked Attraction
  • Ryan-Mark Parsons

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