Carrie Underwood has feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, just like anyone else , the singer said in a new revealing interview with The Guardian.
Underwood, who is currently embarking on her Cry Pretty Tour 360, spoke about her experiences performing for the masses.
“A lot of times I feel like I’m alone,” she said. “I’m obviously aware of people being around me. But it’s like I’m in the song alone on stage.”
But the 36-year-old singer isn’t complaining.
“I like to be alone,” she said. “My husband is probably the only person this planet I could’ve married – my mom, when I told her I was engaged, was even like ‘I just never really thought you’d get married.’”
Underwood doesn’t feel like the angel fans perceived her to be when she won “American Idol” in 2005, going on to become the most successful winner the show has seen.
“I hope people know you gotta have a little crazy in ya!” she said. “I’ve got long blond hair and I like glitter … But there’s a little crazy in there, and I like that to come out every once in a while.”
“I went through a phase where I killed a lot of people,” she added, meaning people she’s hurt emotionally. “I have no idea why, but I wanted everything to be cinematic and dramatic. This album, things were a little more on the emotional side.”
The album Underwood is referring to is her 2018 release “Cry Pretty,” released in the wake of an accident that required 40-plus stitches to her face.
“Cry Pretty” also saw Underwood referencing more politicized issues like gun control, in the song “The Bullet,” from the perspective of mourners.
“Immediately people said ‘Oh you have a song about gun control!’ ” she said about the reaction to the song. “It was more about the lives that were changed by something terrible happening. And it does kind of bug me when people take a song, or take something I said and try to pigeonhole or force me to pick a side or something. It’s a discussion – a long discussion.”
Underwood said she doesn’t venture in politics in public.
“I try to stay far out of politics if possible, at least in public, because nobody wins. It’s crazy. Everybody tries to sum everything up and put a bow on it, like it’s black and white. And it’s not like that,” she explained.
Since releasing “Cry Pretty” in Sept. 2018, Underwood welcomed her second child in January, and went on to open up about the three miscarriages she experienced in two years while trying to conceive.
“I was still trying to do my job and put on a smiley happy face and be Carrie Underwood,” she said. “And then I’d go home and fall apart.”
“It’s something that people don’t really talk about,” she added about miscarriages. “Even people who are my friends and I know well, after I talked about it were like, ‘My gosh, me too!’ And I feel like it’s something I should’ve known about them.”
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