Lisa Hogan on her son 'almost killing Jeremy Clarkson'
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The Grand Tour presenter Jeremy Clarkson, 61, has revealed he didn’t have the option of treating his girlfriend Lisa Hogan, 47, to any racy “stocking-fillers” this Christmas. The Clarkson’s Farm star addressed the issue while reflecting on the various struggles he had encountered while attempting to get his Christmas shopping done this year, in his latest column.
Jeremy explained that he decided to buy gifts for his loved ones online for the first time, as shopping in London would have been too “dangerous” due to the rise in Covid cases and the presence of the Omicron variant in the capital city.
The former Top Gear host initially found online shopping hard, as there were too many options for him to choose from.
Jeremy opted to begin his search for his girlfriend’s gift in women’s fashion retailers.
However, he soon hit a roadblock, as he discovered his WiFi was preventing him from viewing “any site that contains flesh”, including Lovehoney, which specialises in lingerie and erotic gifts.
Jeremy penned: “I decided, therefore, to begin with women’s fashion, so I visited a site called Net-a-Porter, which, it turns out, sells every single garment ever invented.
“I’m not sure but I reckon there were at least 40,000 jumpers.
“And I couldn’t look at half of them because, for reasons that aren’t clear, my wi-fi has self-installed some kind of filter that blocks any site that contains flesh.
“For the same reason, I was unable to buy Lisa any stocking-fillers from Lovehoney,” the car enthusiast cheekily added in his column for The Sunday Times.
When Jeremy eventually found some items his WiFi would allow him to look at online, he was then left even more baffled.
He continued: “I could, however, buy actual stockings — but then it asked me what size I wanted, and here I was stumped, because the options were small, medium and large.
“What’s that got to do with it? Surely length is what matters, not width.”
Jeremy went on to say his home address prevented him from receiving many of the gifts he had ordered in the post.
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The star lives with his girlfriend on his Diddly Squat Farm in Chadlington, Oxfordshire.
He claimed that his address can be confusing for delivery drivers.
Jeremy admitted: “I’m not alone because, as far as I can tell, every village WhatsApp group has been full for the past week of people asking if anyone has seen the bird table they’ve been saving up for all year.”
Fortunately, despite his difficulties ahead of the big day, Jeremy seemingly enjoyed his Christmas.
The star revealed his daughter Emily, 27, had gifted him with a red Mini yesterday.
Jeremy posted a picture of his new vehicle on his Instagram page, which garnered attention from many of his 4.3 million followers.
Alongside the picture, he wrote: “Look what my mad, brilliant and stupidly generous daughter has bought me for Christmas.”
The retro vehicle was given to him with a large red bow placed on the roof to mark the festive occasion.
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